BOREDOM

Basically this images sum up everything I've been up to these past few weeks. I finally got my Canon 6D and I'm so excited about it. Vacations are really scary because it's three months of free time and I barely know what I'm going to do but might as well begin to be productive and make good use of all that free time. I will probably start working on drawings and hand-made products to sell in my town, this to save some money for more camera equipment to build my freelance business. With the 6D is already a good add-up, but I still need some lightning equipment and more lens variety.

I will engage with personal projects to practice photography and hopefully it'll raise my spirits a little bit.

NEW DIRECTION

I'm working with one of my friends with some interviews for his column in a local newspaper and blog. This is the first of the interviews I will be photographing and we went with a Mexican visual artist called Joaquin García Quintana. His work is wonderful; out of this world. We had a wonderful time in his studio, he talked about many different topics, especially about Diego Rivera, and also about his philosophy in general topics that made me feel great about some things I've been struggling lately. Hopefully this isn't the first time I get to hang out with him because he's great in every sense!

I think I will be doing this work with my friend often. He wants someone to go with him to his interviews to photograph and use them in his posts. I'm so happy he chose me to work with him. So anyway, just a couple of days ago I decided to stop trying to get clients and stuff, I'll just simply stop and work on my own. Well, since then, I've got a couple of messages asking me about prices and stuff, but the most recent was from yesterday. A local University wants me to shoot some photographs for the publicity of the school. I'M SO SCARED, I don't think I have the tools to work on something that I feel it's bigger than me. I think I'll end up calling it off... I don't want to do a bad job.

HOW CLOSE

I've been feeling terrible because of some personal issues my family has gone through. This has been reflected on my performance at work, school, and personal pursues, but I'll try not to be dragged by all these problems. I'll try as much as I can to focus on work and start a photography project. Last year I had a series of portraits I wanted to produce and they're still on paper, terribly drawn.

About the photos. Yesterday I went to the Unitarian Universalist Church in Brownsville with my boyfriend and his friends. I've never been to that place to be honest, I heard about it many times before but never went there. I fell in love with the garden! It made a small place look enormous. The guy in the last picture is Grady, he's the caretaker of the place (or that's what I understood). My boyfriend is currently working on another musical project so these guys went to rehearse there, while I talked with some girls I just met there. I ended up having a long conversation with a girl who started to talk about her problems, and I was glad I got to help her, at least so she could be listened to. It was very unfamiliar of me to approach new people but I just felt like doing so, I've been feeling terrible these days.

NOT TRYING

Lately I've been feeling overwhelmed. There are so many Photography Pages (local) on Facebook that I just can't deal with it anymore. Sometimes I want to close my page and work on my own for a while and be disconnected from all the locals. I don't know, I always picture my town as one that is very small and I feel tiny. I feel overshadowed and I feel like I'm choking. I guess I forgot that I do photography not because I need to but because I like to. I forgot that I love photography and I forgot how fun it can be. Lately I've been so pressured trying to get clients that I think I haven't been taking photos for myself, to have fun, to experiment. I've forgotten all that. It's not like I need money now; I have a job! There is no need for me to feel pressured, also, it's not like I've had tons of clients since I opened my Facebook page, so, why bother then?

I don't know, I'm probably under a lot of stress and I'm not thinking this straight. I might not make it a priority to get clients though, I'll try to take a break from trying too hard. 

PHOTODOCUMENTARY WORK

Some shots from my recent comission. I still don't know if I'll get paid for these, even so, I think these are good for me to practice on limited light situations. I'm supposed to be the still photographer for this play that is going to take place in April, so I'm expecting to get a lot of practice from this experience. Apparently the director and also the creator of the play was very pleased with these shots even though they were just rushed and without any context on the play. I'm midly pleased but I still have a long way to go.